Armando Ianucci.... J'accuse!

It's awful when people you admire, people you respect, do something that completely undermines that admiration. sadly, it happens all too frequently.

Today's major let down is Armando Ianucci.



I knew Armando at university. I was President of the Oxford Revue Company and he was the star and main writer for a show that we took on a national tour and, of ourse, sell-out run at the Edinburgh Fringe.

As a writer, Armando did a lot of growing up during that tour. His earliest scripts were rather dull and predictable parodies of Star Trek but, as the show evolved, Armando tackled less predictable targets and his scriptwriting became better.

He has lead a very successful career with shows baring his name, to being the brains behind The Mary Whitehouse Experience and Alan Partridge, through to The Thick of It and, most recently, Veep. He's also written a great column in The Guardian and even found time to write the libretto for an opera.

He is, arguably, known as a satirist, an anti-establishment figure and, in Malcolm Tucker, he has created one of the greatest anti-establishment characters in British comedy.

In my mind, Armando is up there with Peter Cook, as one of he great satirists of the past half century.

So how has Armando disappointed me?

Today it was made known that, as part of the "Queen's Birthday Honours", he has accepted an OBE.

An Order of the British Empire - it's impossible to imagine anything more establishment. A celebration of monarchy and, of course, the evil that was the British Empire with all the evil that was done in the name of of "Empire".

Why has Armando done it?

By accepting an OBE, Armando has become part of the establishment. He has joined the ranks of the brain dead brown-nosers and shown that his judgement is poor and his anti-establishment rants, well, meaningless. Accepting an OBE is giving approval to a system of privilege and patronage. It is saying that power should be handed down via birth canal. It is saying that democracy is wrong.

Today, by sidling up with the likes of Gary Barlow, Ken Branagh and the designer of the Royal Wedding dress, he has shown that he cares more about idiotic baubles given out by a ridiculous, unelected old woman than his credibility.

It could, perhaps, be argued that a New Year's Honour is less bad in that it's not used to pimp up the horrendous Windsor family in the same way that the Birthday Honours list does, but, no, Armando has leapt in with both feet to be at one with everything he stood against.

Deep down I hope it is an elaborate joke - Armando will turn up at the palace, all suited and booted, and Old Liz will be about to give him his OBE and he'll stop her in her tracks with some amazing one-liner that brings the honours system to a crashing end. Sadly, I know he's simply sold out.

Today, Armando, you have failed a large number of people by being a traitor to the cause. How can you ever poke fun at the establish,eat again, now that you're part of that same establishment?

Armando Ianucci... J'accuse!

Can the Royals get any more pathetic?

Today, for no reason whatsoever, other than to mark her non- birthday, Liz Windsor decided to make her eldest son a Field Marshall, a Marshall of the Royal Air Force and an Admiral of the Fleet!



Why? So he can wear more meaningless uniforms and ribbons? Did she feel that her family wearing military uniform for the recent Thames Pageant wasn't quite embarrassing enough? Doesn't it show that she and her nearest and dearest are more like the North Korean leadership than they like to admit?

Liz Windsor, who somehow seems above criticism from many quarters, is the head of a church that, supposedly, preaches peace and "turn the other cheek" but, because she isn't just the biggest benefits fraud in the country but also the nation's biggest two-faced hypocrite, she has lots of over paid and, clearly, under-employed service march up and down in a celebration of militarism, barbaric behaviour and, let's be honest, murder of civilians throughout the world.

Quite why this horrendous woman is above reproach is beyond me. She is little better than a mafia boss, making sure that she and her cronies maintain their life of luxury through a system of deference and patronage, even at times when some in the country she rules are having to rely on food banks to live.

I don't want a head of state that is such a hypocrite. I don't want a head of state that puts giving her son baubles ahead of the needs of the poor and hungry. I don't want this stnking, evil woman resenting me or the country in which I live.

And I don't understand why others want to bow and scrape to such an awful person and her inner circle.

It is time that Liz "Kim Il Jong" Windsor was put out to grass and all the wealth that she and her family have taken from the public returned to the state.

Vive la Republique!

COMMENT: Booing the National Anthem

There were a lot of tweets yesterday suggests that some of the crowd at the FA Cup Final at Wembley booed the National Anthem when it was played in the traditional pre-match build-up.



I was watching the match on television and hadn't noticed much in the way of booing. Certainly, though, the crowd didn't quieter down for the anthem.

There were suggestions that the booing came only from the Liverpool fans, but, unless you were in the stadium, I think that's impossible to judge.

There could be many reasons for booing the national anthem:

1) The later kick off time (5.15 rather than the traditional 3pm) probably gave fans more time to consume alcohol before they got to the ground.

2) Maybe football fans have had enough of the pointless traditions before the FA Cup Final which not only include someone (often a quasi- opera singer who they've never heard of) performing the National Anthem but also the old Christian hymn, Abide with Me.

3) It's possible that it wasn't made clear what was happening, and in the excitement of the event the fans continued chanting because they didn't realise it was anthem time.

4) The tide is turning and, in this Diamond Jubilee year, the public are starting to reject the notion of monarchy and privilege. Maybe they link the awful dirge-like French hymn tune with its requests to an imaginary superbeing to look after one person, and one person only, to be out of touch with the mood of a nation that has just electorally rejected the party of the privileged and wealthy.

5) Maybe the crowd were booing something (or someone) specific in the stadium - Suarez and Terry both seem to get increasingly hostile receptions from rival fans due to their unacceptable behaviour on and off the pitch.

I suspect it's beer talking, or booing. I 'd love it to be the rejection of monarchy. Whichever it is, it's worth keeping an ear out for future events.

Maybe it's time for a new National anthem - one that's inclusive, doesn't plead to an imaginary friend, and one that's genuinely about the nation?





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This is the link from the comments below so it's easier to click on: CLICK HERE.

OPINION: Time to change the National Anthem

Today's ruling that councils cannot have prayers as part of their official business has seen a number of rabid dog loonies defending Christian's "right" to pray when and where they want and bleating on about the oppression of their "faith" (mental illness).

One particular Christian on BBC Radio Five said that if the ruling is applied it would mean that councils wouldn't be able to ever sing the national anthem. Hurrah! Oh wouldn't it be good to get rid of this deeply offensive, divisive dirge which, quite likely, isn't even of British origin (it's more than likely an adaptation of a French folk hymn!).

God save the Queen isn't suitable as the national anthem of a democracy in the 21st century - even if we do carry on paying £200+ million per year to allow the Windsors to be the biggest benefit scroungers in the country.

God save our gracious Quuen,
Long live our noble Queen,
God save the Queen.
Send her victorious,
Happy and Glorious,
Long to reign over us,
God save the Queen.

What a load of absolute bollocks!

This verse, if you're Scottish things get worse and much more offensive in later verses (it says that "rebellious Scots" should be crushed), isn't a national anthem at all - it's a paean to a fictional superbeing to look after one person. What has that got to do with national identity?

I have no problem with a national anthem - if we HAVE to have nationalities (something I've often questioned), then there's nothing wrong with a song but it should be inclusive, positive and be about the nation, not just the parasite with privileges at the top.

I disagree that our current monarch is "gracious" or "noble" = she is the head of a business which, in order to operate, restricts the freedoms and rights of the vast bulk of the rest of the people who live in the same country, and who is propped up through pointless, outdated titles and baubles and other bribery.

And why do we want her to be "victorious" - I'd rather we lived in a peaceful world, not one that had wars to be won and battles and victories.

And why, even if we wanted a song about the nation's figurehead, should we be praying to a "god" - which god? Why any god at all? The vast majority don't attend church regularly and aren't "religious" in any meaningful way. Although many still put "C of E' on the census or on forms in hospital they are cultural Christians, or social Christians, whose only links to the church are for weddings, funerals, attending the odd Christening and, of course, a carol service at Christmas.

It is time the "national anthem" was abandoned and replaced with something which has words that are inclusive, non-denominational, non-sectarian, positive and, come on, with a good rousing tune.

There are some fantastic national anthem melodies around the world - the French and American ones are particularly rousing, but our one is just snoresville. Maybe we look at other, existing melodies and songs and see if there is something that could be adopted as a new anthem, or maybe we hold a competition for a new anthem.

Whatever we do, we need a new national anthem - and soon!

OPINION: Old woman's father died 60 years ago today

Today, much of the British media is going overboard with tributes to the Queen whose accession happened 60 years ago on the death of her father.

So what?

"Old woman's father died 60 years ago today" - that's all the story amounts to.

Liz Windsor is now 85. Again, so what? Lots of people live to that age and beyond even if they don't have the pampered, easy living to which the Windsor dynasty have become accustomed.

It just isn't news and yet BBC News is doing "special reports" every few minutes, it seems.

And then there's the sycophantic and fawning politicians all saying how "wonderful" Mrs. Windsor is and what a "great job" she has done. What job? Beyond wasting vast amounts of tax payers money her role involves very little if worth.

And don't pretend the monarchy brings in tourists! That is one of the biggest myths ever. Is France tourist free? No.

Remembering the death of a lived one should be a private matter. Today Liz Windsor should be having a few quiet thoughts recalling her father.

I dread to think how ridiculous the coverage of the Diamond Jubilee will become in May and June when most of the big celebrations are scheduled.

I may have to hibernate.

OPINION: Michael Gove and a new royal yacht

Michael Gove gets a very bad press in education circles. This is, of course, nothing new. Teachers tend to mistrust and dislike most Secretaries of State for Education whether they are Labour, Tory or, potentially, while we have a coalition, Lib Dem.

Mchael Gove, however, doesn't help his case. He often takes things a step too far, or comes up with ideas which, quite frankly, are just plain dumb.

Yesterday evening a letter that he wrote was leaked to The Guardian. In it he argues the case for the nation giving a new royal yacht to the Queen to mark her diamond jubilee this year.

Gove is an enthusiastic monarchist. Like those who have religion, he has the same emptiness behind his eyes that all morons who support monarchy have.

Gove argues that a new royal yacht would be an appropriate gift to the monarch and would not only create much-needed work in our shipbuilding industry, but would give every man, woman and child a feel good feeling.

Really? Yep, he's that much of a moron.

Firstly, why should Liz Windsor get any "gift" from the nation. She's been taking millions and millions of pounds annually for oing little of merit or worth. Her year is pretty much non-stop holiday and yet this year she and hubby couldn't be arsed to attend the Royal Variety Performance, which is put on for her benefit, because it was in Salford. I don't see many fom the North West feeling they've had value ir money from the £200+ million spent on the monarchy every year.

Secondly, Gove argues that a new royal yacht would create jobs - well, it might have one had it been commissioned a couple of years ago. As it is, even the best, most efficient shipyards wouldn't be able to build a new royal yacht in the time between now and the Jubilee celebrations in the early summer. Additionally, by EU rules I suspect that such a process would have to be put out to render across Europe and, with the UK's run down, overpriced and increasingly inexperienced shipbuilding industry, the chances are that a non-UK shipyard would win the contract to build the new royal yacht.

Thirdly, Gove claims a new royal yacht would only cost about £60 million. Well, when the Royal Yacht Britannia was decommissioned in 1997, a decision made in equal parts by the dregs of John Major's government and the incoming, reforming government of Tony Blair, it was estimated a replacement would have cost between £60 - 70 million. The likelihood is that a new royal yacht, if the luxury ships owned by the likes of various wealthy Russian oligarchs is anything to go by, would be much nearer to £200 million.

Fourthly, Gove believes that, having had cutbacks, job losses, fuel price rises, inflation, wage freezes, pension turmoil, etc. we'll all feel a warm glow if happiness because our overpaid, underworked, privileged monarch had a new luxury toy for her holidays. Really? Is he really THAT demented? Apparently so.

Even Cameron, very often the Moron-in-Chief, thinks it's a bad idea - though he, it seems does think putting the idea out o public subscription might work and be a good idea. By the time the ship was ready, and all paid for, chances are we might have a new monarch who, I. It ice, has today said he supports the idea of a new royal yacht. Quelle Surprise! Charlie Windsor wants more from the public to support his worthless lifestyle.

The suggestion that the nation buys anything for Liz Windsor is, at best insulting to the public and, at worst, is an evil and deluded suggestion from someone who urgently needs to spend some time with his family - though I pity them if he does.

No to a royal yacht - and, while we're at it, time for a republic!

OPINION: How dare Liz Windsor not attend the Royal Variety Performance

Yesterday, the Queen refused to attend the Royal Variety Performance in Salford. She wasn't sick and she didn't have other state appointments to fulfill that were more important. She just said that she wasn't going to attend.

It turns out the reason was that her husband, Philip, had said that they had travelled to Liverpool last week and weren't going to travel to Salford this week.

Hang on a minute! The nation pays well in excess of £200 million a year for this woman and her family to do a few tasks. How dare she refuse to attend. If anyone else in the country refused to carry out their job they would be disciplined and, quite likely, sacked?

Now! I know she is getting on, she's a few months older than my mother, and her husband is older still, but if you're not up to the job you should, surely, retire?

Liz Windsor carries out somewhere between 300-400 official engagements each year - often they are lunches or dinners (so very taxing) and many work days will have 3 or 4 engagements on th same day because they aren't arduous or long. So, in reality, she only works for about a third of the year.

Even if her husband wasn't prepared to travel, even though he benefits from the millions spent on the monarchy each year and has lived a life of luxury at the taxpayers' expense for decades, old Liz should have turned up.

Sure, she sent along her daughter. So what? Clearly Anne is underemployed in the family firm if she can drop everything and pop to Salford a short notice. Or did Liz and Phil never intend to attend?

The Queen has, generally, attended every other year of the Royal Variety Performance, and attended her first while still Princess Elizabeth in the late 1940s. The Royal Command Performance, as it was originally called, started nearly a century ago, in 1912. The 2011 RVP was the first to be held at The Lowry, Salford - what message does this send to the North of England?

Surely an evening at the theatre, some bland comments to toadying celebs and some handshaking isn't a lot to ask in return for her salary?

If she's too old to do the job, or too frail, then she should retire (abdicate); if she's too ill then a regent should be appointed in her place; if the Windsors have decided they can't be bothered to carry out their duties then it is more proof that it is the time for a republic.

How to remember the Kings and Queens of England/Britain...

65 things I hate

This is a list of the things I think the world could do without, because I hate them.

Some are more major than others but I find all of them abhorrent: 

1. The Monarchy - really, in the 21st century, what is the justification for selecting a head of state by which birth canal someone passed?

2. Adverts during movies on TV - it's just so irritating, particularly if they're at totally random moments 

3. Paul McCartney - he makes my skin crawl - smug and arrogant, prides himself on his ignorance of musical notation and there are major questions to be answered as to who really wrote his various "classical" compositions 

4. Religion - all superstitions - based on lies, it's the biggest fraud in the world - used the manipulate, control and abuse - truly evil 

5. Honours - I have no issue with honours given for genuine achievement but people who accept knighthoods, OBEs, MBEs, etc. in the name of the British Empire - ugh! The British Empire was an appalling institution that abused its position of power around the world 

6. The Military - pure evil - arms trade, politicians, soldiers, sailors, airmen

7. People who argue against racism/sexism but, in reality, are only proposing a different bigotry - in this category I would include those who support Harriet Harman's faux-feminist leanings

8. Manchester United and, very specifically, Alex Ferguson 

9. Positive discrimination - there is nothing positive about positive discrimination - it is just discrimination 

10. David Jason - over-rated and Only Fools and Horses isn't funny 

11. Reality TV shows and the way they now dominate the TV schedules - sure, have a singing competition but does it really need 2 hours of Saturday prime time AND an hour on a Sunday?

12. Tories

13. The need for speed - thosepeople who refuse to stick to speed limits and see it as an infringement on their civil liberties rather than a safety measure

14. Alan Carr - how on earth has he had a career?

15. Using less when it should be fewer and using fewer when it should be less - Alexander Armstrong on Pointless is the worst offender in the world!! Less sand, fewer grains. Less beer, fewer pints!

16. Unions - they don't unite they divide and, increasingly, they play politics rather than simply represent workers

17. Phone in shows where dullards and bigots are given airtime - just cut them off 

18. Tracy Emin - ugh!

19. Lib Dems who stayed being Lib Dems after they had sold out for 30 pieces of silver

20. People who think it's cool to be thick, common, ignorant - the TOWIEfication of society

21. Mis-used apostrophes - it's really not that hard to learn when and when not to use an apostrophe 

22. Cliff Richard - awful, awful, awful - loved it when he was shown up as a wine fraud! 

23. Victoria Derbyshire's Radio 5 show - inanity and soft questioning are queen

24. Nigel Farage - UKIP's leader... says it all really

25. People who can't debate properly 

26. Tailgaters - just get back you idiot!

27. Eddie Jordan - probably the worst sports presenter in the history of the world

28. Cold-callers - even as a member of the Telephone Preference Service we still get cold-callers trying to sell us stuff, so intrusive

29. Angling - cruelty masquerading as sport - let's rip apart a fish's mouth then throw it back in the water!

30. The Sound of Music - dreadful songs, ridiculous story... awful movie

31. Red poppies - not the real flowers (they're lovely), the ones sold by the British Legion for remembrance but increasingly a symbol of jingoism

32. The normalisation of gambling - its gradually become a normal part of life, slot machines everywhere, discussed on radio - it's a stupid thing to do and should be banned

33. Excessive street markings and road signs - also too few (roundabouts that don't give a clue) - there are way too many signs and too many markings. They spoil the countryside in particular. 

34. That song from Titanic - the ship deserved to sink if that's the song it is now best remembered for

35. People who read your blog but comment on Twitter or Facebook rather than on the blog

36. Christmas - there's nothing wrong with a mid-winter festival but why have one based on a lie, an historical event that never happened that celebrates someone who never existed

37. The clocks being changed - twice a year they're put forward or back - why? Choose one time and leave it alone all year

38. Andy Parsons - his presentation is just horrible - lots of his jokes are quite good but he wastes them with his grating voice and demeanour

39, Party Politics and the whip system - all MPs should be individuals voting freely on all issues 

40. People who do Follow Friday for ALL the people they follow on Twitter

41. Nationalism/Jingoism and having to be British - I just don't get why anyone would be proud to be any nationality - the root of all the wars not caused by religion

42. Meat - there's no need to kill animals for humans to survive - our teeth are herbivore's teeth (small incisors) not those of meat-eaters

43. Inverted snobbery - people from working class who have irrational hatred of things like Oxbridge

44. The right-wing press - Daiky Mail, Daily Express, Daily Telegraph, The Sun, etc.

45. Intelligent Design - when the Christian church realised that the creationist lie wasn't accepted by sane people they tried to con people with I.D. - just as much a fraud as creationism

46. Popular culture that masquerades as art - the worse excesses include people who claim Eminem is the new Shakespeare or that if Mozart were alive today he'd be composing pop songs 

47. Windows computers  - it's very simple, they're not as good as Apple (who they continually mimic several years late)

48. Memory (from "Cats") - awful, awful, awful whining 

49. Shaving - really hate shaving - I wish there was a permanent way to stop the hair growing

50. Facial hair - "Never trust a man with facial hair" - and always be concerned about women with facial hair!

51. TV shows that continually tell you what's already happened - this particularly happens on Channel 4 lifestyle shows like Location, Location, Location and anything fronted by Sarah Beeny

52. Louis Walsh - how has this moron had such a successful career

53. Pet dogs - they're just stupid, smelly, shit machines 

54. Disney Stores - so much plastic tat, it makes IKEA seem environmentally friendly 

55. Boozy Brits - not just the binge drinkers and clubbers lying in gutters on a Saturday night but those who arrive somewhere and instantly want to know where the bar is

56. Unchained Melody - just dreadful song that keeps being covered

57. The dumbing down of education - what hope for the future when the UK's education system is aimed at the average student (at best)

58. Answering back - I just can't tolerate it

59. Capitalism - time and time it fails but, because the banks rule the world, it keeps getting more and more chances

60. Theme Park rides - they make me feel sick

61. Pescetarians who claim they're vegetarians - if you eat fish you are not a vegetarian - it's very simple

62. Horse racing - it's animal abuse - doesn't matter if it's flat racing or jumps. 

63. Imagine by John Lennon

64. Patrick McLoughlin, MP - my local MP and Chief Whip for the Conservatives - he used to claim £400 per month groceries without producing a receipt and also flipped his house to rip off the tax payer

65. McDonald's - they've tried to make themselves appear greener and healthier but they're still destroying the rainforests and produce very unhealthy food that they target at children  

There's many more things.... but these will do for starters!

COMMENT: The UK is still a medieval country with modern nick-nacks

Most living in the UK would say that it is a modern nation, with modern politics and freedoms, with a modern world view and with a modern outlook.

I'm one of those who disagree.

I think the UK is still little better than a medieval country with a population that is being conned.

Yes, we don't have an absolute monarchy but the monarch and heir to the throne are given vetoes over new laws. Elected officials bow down to the Royals who have done nothing more to be given their position of privilege than pass through a particular vagina.

We still have umpteen unelected peers in the House of Lords, including umpteen unelected bishops, who oversee what laws are passed. The bishops ensure that the church has a voice way beyond the size of the nation's "faith community". Quite why any superstition is given legal powers is beyond me.

The UK has a large aristocracy, headed by the Royal Family, for whose benefit society is organised. "The Establishment" isn't just a silly Hale and Pace joke but a real strata of society who look down on the rest of us while they reap the benefits of passing through various birth canals or licking up to the right people.

Don't be fooled by our democracy - it is tokenism. It is a fraud. It is electing different flavours of the same crisps.

And then there's the UK's foreign policy. Surely it's to just me that sees recent involvements in Afghanistan, Iraq and, in particular, Libya as nothing more then modern day Crusades - spreading "our" way of life because "we" know best - oh, and, of course, oil!

Commentators and newspapers often look at other nations and refer to them as "third world" or "medieval" in the way things are organised - the UK is hardly different. Yes, in the UK we have a wealth and have developed in many ways - the beginnings of the Industrial Revolution enabled this, plus the evils of the Empire which, thankfully, has now ended - but this is nothing more than a generous dose of blusher on the bad skin of our society.

The UK needs fundamental change: we need a genuinely democratic system of government; we need to remove the powers of the Royal family (and their numerous hangers on and yes men) completely; we need to stop the insanity of religion from imposing it's nonsense to the rest of use; and we need to have a more sensible, caring and grown-up world view.

The UK is ready for change. Stop being conned!

OPINION: What can the Irish do but not the UK?

Yesterday, while the Commonwealth were deciding whether future male or female members of one family should rule over them, there was an election in Ireland unlike anything we've ever seen in the UK. They were voting for their new Head of State - their President.

In Ireland, the Head of State is a largely ceremonial role. I know there are ill-informed monarchists who will say that Elizabeth Windsor, in her position as monarch, has a largely ceremonial role but they are ignoring the legal status and powers which the monarch really has.

The Irish President holds office for seven years and can only be re-elected once. Although political parties put forward candidates the role itself is non political.

Why can't we have such a system in the UK? If Liz Windsor, or any of her descendants, wishes to stand for election they can. And if they win then that's all well and good but why do the British public tolerate a system whereby the Head of State, and all the powers that includes, is selected by which birth canal a child passes through rather than their suitability for the job or being democratically elected?

It's time for a change. There are already parties planned for Liz's jubilee next year. Why not use them to celebrate her retirement and the introduction of an accountable Head of State?

It's time to learn from the Irish.