Can the Royals get any more pathetic?

Today, for no reason whatsoever, other than to mark her non- birthday, Liz Windsor decided to make her eldest son a Field Marshall, a Marshall of the Royal Air Force and an Admiral of the Fleet!



Why? So he can wear more meaningless uniforms and ribbons? Did she feel that her family wearing military uniform for the recent Thames Pageant wasn't quite embarrassing enough? Doesn't it show that she and her nearest and dearest are more like the North Korean leadership than they like to admit?

Liz Windsor, who somehow seems above criticism from many quarters, is the head of a church that, supposedly, preaches peace and "turn the other cheek" but, because she isn't just the biggest benefits fraud in the country but also the nation's biggest two-faced hypocrite, she has lots of over paid and, clearly, under-employed service march up and down in a celebration of militarism, barbaric behaviour and, let's be honest, murder of civilians throughout the world.

Quite why this horrendous woman is above reproach is beyond me. She is little better than a mafia boss, making sure that she and her cronies maintain their life of luxury through a system of deference and patronage, even at times when some in the country she rules are having to rely on food banks to live.

I don't want a head of state that is such a hypocrite. I don't want a head of state that puts giving her son baubles ahead of the needs of the poor and hungry. I don't want this stnking, evil woman resenting me or the country in which I live.

And I don't understand why others want to bow and scrape to such an awful person and her inner circle.

It is time that Liz "Kim Il Jong" Windsor was put out to grass and all the wealth that she and her family have taken from the public returned to the state.

Vive la Republique!

Liz Windsor celebrates with dictators, despots and tyrants

Liz Windsor continued her year of excess and self-congratulations today by hosting a lunch at Windsor Castle for fellow monarchs.

Among those in attendance were a number of unpleasant autocratic and absolute monarchs who really shouldn't be invited to pleasant lunches at British tax payers expense.

Included among these truly evil human beings are the King of Bahrain who has had protestors against his oppressive regime arrested or simply shot during the past year. Therr's also King Mswati of Swaziland who runs his country for his self interest while the population suffer.

Added to this are members of the Saudi and Kuwaiti royal families both of whom rule nations with appalling civil rights records notably being opposed to equality for women and being anti-gay.

Particularly sickening was that many who attended wore military uniforms of the armies they use to oppress their populations.

Quite why old Liz thinks it is acceptable to entertain such despots is beyond me. Maybe she's been ill-advised or maybe she's gone ga ga in her old age. Or maybe she wishes she could be more blatant and evil rather than simply ripping off the British public financially and for privilege.

I often hear, from monarchists, what a great job Liz Windsor does. Today shows that she is a disgrace and a national embarrassment.

OPINION: Old woman's father died 60 years ago today

Today, much of the British media is going overboard with tributes to the Queen whose accession happened 60 years ago on the death of her father.

So what?

"Old woman's father died 60 years ago today" - that's all the story amounts to.

Liz Windsor is now 85. Again, so what? Lots of people live to that age and beyond even if they don't have the pampered, easy living to which the Windsor dynasty have become accustomed.

It just isn't news and yet BBC News is doing "special reports" every few minutes, it seems.

And then there's the sycophantic and fawning politicians all saying how "wonderful" Mrs. Windsor is and what a "great job" she has done. What job? Beyond wasting vast amounts of tax payers money her role involves very little if worth.

And don't pretend the monarchy brings in tourists! That is one of the biggest myths ever. Is France tourist free? No.

Remembering the death of a lived one should be a private matter. Today Liz Windsor should be having a few quiet thoughts recalling her father.

I dread to think how ridiculous the coverage of the Diamond Jubilee will become in May and June when most of the big celebrations are scheduled.

I may have to hibernate.

OPINION: How dare Liz Windsor not attend the Royal Variety Performance

Yesterday, the Queen refused to attend the Royal Variety Performance in Salford. She wasn't sick and she didn't have other state appointments to fulfill that were more important. She just said that she wasn't going to attend.

It turns out the reason was that her husband, Philip, had said that they had travelled to Liverpool last week and weren't going to travel to Salford this week.

Hang on a minute! The nation pays well in excess of £200 million a year for this woman and her family to do a few tasks. How dare she refuse to attend. If anyone else in the country refused to carry out their job they would be disciplined and, quite likely, sacked?

Now! I know she is getting on, she's a few months older than my mother, and her husband is older still, but if you're not up to the job you should, surely, retire?

Liz Windsor carries out somewhere between 300-400 official engagements each year - often they are lunches or dinners (so very taxing) and many work days will have 3 or 4 engagements on th same day because they aren't arduous or long. So, in reality, she only works for about a third of the year.

Even if her husband wasn't prepared to travel, even though he benefits from the millions spent on the monarchy each year and has lived a life of luxury at the taxpayers' expense for decades, old Liz should have turned up.

Sure, she sent along her daughter. So what? Clearly Anne is underemployed in the family firm if she can drop everything and pop to Salford a short notice. Or did Liz and Phil never intend to attend?

The Queen has, generally, attended every other year of the Royal Variety Performance, and attended her first while still Princess Elizabeth in the late 1940s. The Royal Command Performance, as it was originally called, started nearly a century ago, in 1912. The 2011 RVP was the first to be held at The Lowry, Salford - what message does this send to the North of England?

Surely an evening at the theatre, some bland comments to toadying celebs and some handshaking isn't a lot to ask in return for her salary?

If she's too old to do the job, or too frail, then she should retire (abdicate); if she's too ill then a regent should be appointed in her place; if the Windsors have decided they can't be bothered to carry out their duties then it is more proof that it is the time for a republic.

20 Years Ago: Freddie Mercury died

Twenty years ago today, on the 24th November 1991, Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of the rock group Queen, died quietly at his home in West London of bronchio-pneumonia, brought on by AIDS, aged just 45.

The day before he had, for the first time, publicly announced that he was HIV positive. He is thought to have had the disease for about two years, during which time he had recorded a great deal of new material which was to be released posthumously. Few had noticed his failing health, and his death came as a tremendous shock.

Freddie Mercury,whose original name was Farookh Bulsara, was born in Zanzibar in 1946. His childhood was mostly spent in India, and then, in 1964, his family moved to the UK. In 1970, Mercury joined with Mike Grose, Brian May and Roger Taylor to form Queen.



Mercury enjoyed a rather colourful rock and roll lifestyle, and was openly bisexual at a time when many still found this shocking.

Many considered Mercury to be the ultimate showman, and he will always be remembered for his, and Queen's, performance at the Live Aid concert at Wembley Stadium in 1985.



He wrote and performed on many classic rock tracks, most notably being Bohemian Rhapsody,which broke all the rules of what a successful chart song could and should be. Queen's songs still have a wide popularity and have, in recent years, been re-worked into both an orchestral symphony and a successful musical, We Will Rock You.

To this day, the gate of his former house is a place of pilgramage for Mercury's fans.

TOP 10: Catchiest Songs of All Time

Academics at Goldsmiths College have published a list of the Top 10 catchiest songs of all time.

The scientists claim that a "special combination of neuroscience, maths and cognitive psychology can produce the elusive elixir of the perfect sing-along song."
 
1. We are the Champions - Queen


2. Y.M.C.A. - Village People

3. Fat Lip - Sum 41


4. The Final Countdown - Europe


5. Monster - The Automatic

6. Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs


7. I'm Always Here - Jimi Jamison

8. Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison


9. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus


10. Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi


Which is all well and good - but where's Agadoo and the Birdie Song?

Which songs do you think should be up there?

MUSIC: 2011 Q Awards - the winners

• Best Track - Rolling In The Deep - Adele

• Breakthrough Artist - Ed Sheeran

• New Artist - WU LYF

• Live Act - Biffy Clyro

• Best Video - Jessie J

• Hall of Fame Award - Queen

• Q Classic Songwriter - Gary Barlow

• Q's Next Big Thing - Lana del Rey
  

• Q Inspiration - Fay Boy Slim
  

• Best Male - Tinie Tempah

• Best Female - Adele

• Innovation in Sound - Kaiser Chiefs

• Best Album - Bon Iver - Bon Iver

• Classic Song - Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

• Best Act In The World Today - Coldplay

• Q Outstanding Contribution To Music - Siouxsie Sioux

• Q Icon - Noel Gallagher

• Q's Greatest Act Of The Last 25 Years - U2

OPINION: The Second Reformation

Little did Martin Luther suspect that, when he wrote The Ninety-Five Theses in 1517 he'd be setting a trend for has-been and washed up groups from the 1990s to give things another go in the Noughties and 2010s.

Yes, when the musical history of the beginning of the 21st Century comes to be written it will, I suggest, be called the Second Reformation.

This week alone we've had announcements from Steps and The Stone Roses - two stellar groups from opposite ends of the pop rainbow.

The Steps reunion and comeback has been manufactured via a tortuous reality programme on Sky Living.



I really don't understand the point of so-called "reality television programmes, like Steps Reunion when the outcome is a foregone conclusion. Why else would they bother? They all earnt a small fortune - take a look at "H"'s house!

But I guess some of that wealth has dwindled and they think they can get another few big pay days before they, inevitably, split again.

Cynical? Moi?

Why does ANY group reform? Isn't it always about the pay cheque?

Today The Stone Roses, a seminal group from the Madchester movement of the early 90s, has been outlining their plans for two "big events" next summer preceding a world tour. The Stone Roses have always been he darlings of the music press - tantrums were considered all part of "artistic differences" and bad behaviour was because they were temperamental artists.

Only two years ago John Squire, of The Stone Roses even produced an artwork stating, quite categorically, that I have no desire whatsoever to desicrate the grave of the seminal Manchester pop group The Stone Roses. Two years on and there is his in a press conference joining with Ian Brown et al announcing future plans.



Was he lying back in 2009? Is his heart not in it now? What's happened to change his mind so dramatically?

Ironically The Stone Roses have already had an album released called Second Coming , so is this the Third Coming?

Of course, unlike Steps, The Stone Roses are promising new material. Quite how much and whether it is any good has yet to be seen. I'm not convinced that the seminal group will be able to recreate the success of their former incarnation and will end up simply re-working their hits - after all, isn't that what the punters want?

With many reunions/Greatest Hits tours that is all that the fans want. They want one final, or two final, chances to see their idols live, they want one final album with a few new songs. They want to re-live their teenage years.

Some groups, of course, would find a reunion tricky - The Beatles and The Doors clearly have a few insurmountable problems for a proper reunion! Queen have, of course, managed a reunion of sorts despite the loss of their iconic lead singer and 2Pac somehow still churns out songs from beyond the grave - ingenious!

At the same time, it's only a matter of a couple of years before Oasis are back together!

The big reunion, one that might never happen, of course, is ABBA. Wouldn't it be great to have Benny and Bjorn weave their musical magic one more time with Agnetha and Anna-Frid?



Some groups have come back stronger than before. The best recent examples of this have to be Blur whose live performances built on their earlier successes as well as the extra-Blur work of its members, and Take That who have, mostly thanks to the maturing songwriting talents of Gary Barlow and a live show budget that must be the envy of many small nations, come back stronger than their 1990s selves.

But for every Blur, Take That and, yes, even Steps (their latest greatest hits album entered the charts at Number One last Sunday) there are the others who fall by the way side - they saw a nice injection of money into their bank accounts, a pension top-up that just didn't happen.

The Stone Roses and Steps are both reforming for one thing and one thing only - they should just be honest about it, but let's hope that someday soon, the music industry will invest in new talent - because without new talent who will we have to reform in 2030?